The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
