My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
