I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
