loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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