HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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