I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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