Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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