if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
