How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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