it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
