it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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