I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
