wanna go halves on a baby?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
bring money and cleavage
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
