She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
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I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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