ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
