i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
