Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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