AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
