this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
