Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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