i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
