I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
