Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
