Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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