he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize