Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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