she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just had sex bonerless
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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