Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize