Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
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I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
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started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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