I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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