All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
