bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
