I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
