Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
