So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
