thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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