Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
