hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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