Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
