I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize