Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
