dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
