I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My bed smells like the plague
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
