just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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