It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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