My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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