If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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