I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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