Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
third nipple confirmed
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
