I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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