gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
