I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I need a burrito and a hug.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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