Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
