Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
