My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize