The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just had sex bonerless
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
